The internet is littered with memes that offer an ending to the sentence “you know you are old when…”. They are generally joking about needing glasses, or not being able to work your PC without help from the grandchildren. However, ‘being old’ is not necessarily based on your chronological age. There is a saying attributed to both George Bernard Shaw and Benjamin Franklin, if Google is to be believed: That you don’t stop playing because you get old, but that you get old because you stop playing.
As it is, there are no age definition to the term ‘old’. I have gone to great pains to point out that ‘Middle Age’ does not occur until 45. Sadly, some people prove they belong to the ‘old people’ category by their words and actions. If you don’t want to be added to their number here is one of the things you need to definitely avoid doing if you don’t want to be considered ‘out of touch’. Or maybe you need to stop doing if you recognise yourself here!
Things that will instantly single you out as ‘an old Person’
While I may not be able to avoid giving out the odd groan now and then when I bend over, this is one of things I am trying not to do: Moan about ‘the kids’ music.
Hating on Modern Music
Old people always appear to be complaining about chart music; This one is so obvious, it almost goes without saying. If you want to be singled out as old, complain about modern music. Let’s ignore the fact that many younger people are very into the ‘retro’ vibe. For example: my daughter spent her 18th Birthday with her 20 year old sister visiting London to see Billy Joel in concert. My kids love Bowie. The Beatles. Michael Jackson. As well as tunes from the nineties, that I cannot bring myself to call old.
They also enjoy all manner of modern music, though not necessarily chart artists. In fact, as a K-pop fan I am actually ahead of the game. I was listening to BTS when they bought out their earlier albums back in 2015 (Insufferable Hipster warning!) I know they debuted in 2013 – but I didn’t get Spotify until 2015, so I feel I can be forgiven there.
My obsession with Hyukoh, Block B and Big Bang however put me at odds with the statistics. A study by Ajay Kalia on Spotify algorithms claims that that our musical tastes ‘mature’ in our thirties. By this, it is meant that by this age we have decided what we like and are fairly set in our ways; being less open to news sounds and styles. It is also suggested that those with younger children listen to less popular music.
This makes sense. I have friends with toddlers and the only music I hear when I visit them is Baby Shark and the theme tunes of children’s programmes. When my lot were small, I knew the words to every single Wiggles song. (I am not willing to either confirm or deny that one of their songs may actually be on my current Spotify playlist. Neither will I admit to having seen them in concert …twice.)
What is “old people” music anyway?
There is a trope you often see about ‘old peoples homes’ that really annoys me. In TV shows when the oldies are having singalongs the songs invariably include “On Mother Kelly’s Doorstep” or “Roll out the barrels”.
Who still listens to that? Seriously.
People in old peoples homes might be about 75.
Do you know who else is 75?
Diana Ross. Roger Daltrey. Mick Jagger. Jimmy Page. JIMMY PAGE as in the Led Zeppelin Guitarist who co-wrote “Stairway to Heaven”! People who are now in their seventies produced some of the greatest music of the 20th century; they do not sit round singing “Knees up Mother Brown”!
While young people may think we sit around listening to old people music, as we are unwilling to try out new things, the truth is us grown-ups have more money and opportunity to go out and listen to live gigs, and hear different sounds if we want to. I have plenty of older friends that love going to concerts and gigs, often to see emerging bands that I have never heard of.
That being said, one of my current favourites are Kawala. I was introduced to them through my teenager, so maybe being with younger people helps keep our musical taste fresh? The band were a support act at a Dodie concert I attended in March and I would not have heard of either of these artists were is not for my teenage daughter inviting me to watch the show with her.
The recent Bohemian Rhapsody film has seen a resurgence in younger Queen fans; my 18 year old is a massive Freddie fan. Maybe The Beatles had a similar growth in fans following the film Yesterday. The truth is that we have access to so many genres and ages of music that everyone has an opportunity to discover new bands and artists, if you are willing to look for them.
Was your music that great?
If you find yourself about to call a new song ‘repetitive noise’ and nowhere near as good as music ‘back in your day’ you need to remember this: There are loads of radio stations dedicated to ‘classics’ from the sixties, seventies and eighties. But have you noticed they seem to play the same tunes over and over? That is because there probably wasn’t as many amazing songs as you remember. Have you ever sat through an old episode of “Tops of the Pops ” and thought “I can’t remember this song”. Maybe you have commented on how bad a particular tune is? That is because we tend to forget the huge amount of terrible music that was produced at the same time as our classic favourites.
For every decent song there are ten rubbish ones, and that is exactly what is happening in today’s market. Also, the opportunity for sharing music has increased with the advent of YouTube, and online streaming services. Literally anyone can be a ‘star’ – deserved or otherwise! There is just much more to choose from nowadays that there is bound to be stuff you don’t like. Remember what old people used to say about the music you liked when you were younger? Do you want to be that guy?
So if you are unimpressed with your teenagers playlists, instead of moaning, give them some suggestions for other artists. You never know, you may have the worlds biggest Barry Manilow fan living in your house and you just don’t know it yet.
Over to you
Do you have a guilty pleasure when it comes to music? Are you still listening to your favourites from years ago, or are your chosen tunes new ones? Who is your favourite? What about the worst?
Let me know in the comments.